An Open Letter to Carlos Tevez

Dear Mr Tevez,

That I’m extending you the courtesy of including a ‘dear’ in that opening statement as well as referring to you as ‘Mr’ is more than you deserve. You sir, have continually disrespected this great football club, the staff who have waited on you, rehabilitated you when you’ve been injured and much more, the fans who have forked out large proportions of their relatively low incomes to watch and support you and ensure you can continue to have the greatest job on Earth and be paid astronomical sums of money for the privilege, and the owners who have paid said extortionate wages. For all this disrespect, that opening sentence should read ‘Hi Dickhead!’

A mistake we can forgive. A lapse in judgement we can forgive. We are all humans and we all make errors. But you’ve calculatingly defied your manager time after time to try and engineer what you want when you want it. There is no negotiation or compromise with Carlos Tevez – it’s me, me, me, take, take, take. If it’s not been flying off to Argentina then it’s been hot footing it to Tenerife or arguing with and bitching at Roberto Mancini when you’ve been substituted.

Clearly you have no moral compass and couldn’t give a flying fuck about Manchester City, but it’s a shame that you couldn’t have been more mature to realise what a great chance you had at Manchester City to be a big part of something special and etch your name in history for all of the right reasons. You clearly are a gifted footballer and could have been a hero here. It makes me angry that you were the one to climb up the Wembley steps to lift the FA Cup when there are so many other players in our squad far more deserving than you.

I’ve had more than enough of your histrionics and ridiculous antics now. You make Mario Balotelli look like a saint. I couldn’t care less if we got nothing for you, so long as you’re out of our doors once and for all. I hope you enjoy sitting in your mansion in Argentina counting your millions. Meanwhile Man City will replace you with a quality striker in January and continue to go about our business of taking on the best both domestically and in Europe as a team – something you know absolutely nothing about.

Hasta luego. You won’t be missed.